The Four Horsepersons of the Ablogalypse

And I saw when the n00b opened one of the blogs, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder (for he had eaten beans), one of the four beasts saying, Come and see my blog.

And I heard, and beheld a white noise: and he that posted within it had a computer; and anonymity was given unto him: and he went forth conquering the forums with trash talk, and to rant.

And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see my blog.

And there went out anothers thumb was green: and power was given to her that sat thereon to make peace with the earth, and that they should not kill one another: and there was given unto her a tree to plant.

And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see my blog.

And I beheld, and saw black hair; and he that it sat upon had a pair of Smiths tickets in his hand.

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of truth for a blogger, and three reply posts that call you an names; and see that this will hurt your feelings and you will boil and whine.

And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see my blog.

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Dearth, and "what the Hell" followed with him. And power was given unto them over the Web part of the Internet, to kill with word, and with hunger for meaninful content, and with dearth (of meaning), and with the the bloggers of the earth.